Today I sat for 29 minutes. My mind was very active throughout the period, not really settling. This was likely due to a stimulus-rich day of going to the Museum, taking copious notes on various areas of evolutionary history, and dealing with the frustrations of mass transit and population density.
I did not want to sit at all and know that this is one of those days when if I had not made a commitment I would not have sat. But in that strange way of zazen, once my butt was on the cushion, there was no place else I wanted to be. Zazen is a refuge from the endless battle with myself.
My eating became progressively less mindful over the course of the day. My first meal of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a Sugar Free Red Bull was taken slowly, with an impromptu Buddhist grace stated beforehand. I noticed a resistance to this practice, a feeling of sanctimoniousness in relating one's act of eating to the nourishment or lack thereof of other beings. And yet, I sense a truth in the practice also.
My second meal was a slice of pizza and a soda at the Museum. I ate merely for fuel to keep my brain going after my blood sugar started to tank. I said or thought no reverent words before eating, and my mind wandered, but I intentionally did not pull out a book or my journal as has become my unfortunate habit these days when eating. It was amazing to see how much taking in that food altered my conscious experience.
My final meal was sushi and wine in front of a nature documentary. It was a favorite indulgence I could not pass up, despite the decidedly unmindful nature of eating in front of the television and going over my calorie count.
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