Ango Days 8 - 11

Today was the first day of the Ango that sitting felt natural, like a normal part of the day's flow instead of a strange feat of discipline. Time felt fluid, I had no clue how much time had passed, and even the thought seemed strange. For the first time since the beginning I did not compulsively check the time at any point while sitting to see how much time was left. There are thoughts that I was happy to let go of on the cushion instead of nurture and coddle as is my natural tendency.

I do not believe this means I have hit some sort of point in some sort of linear progression where sitting will be easy and resistance-free from here on out. But it is nice to experience and remember what it was like for this practice of intimacy with the Silence, as Dave (Praxis Dave, not Daibh Dave ;) puts it, to be a normal and welcomed part of the day.

So far I have not missed a day's sit yet and do not intend to. I do not know when I will add a morning sit, but know that is something I would like to try at some point in the Ango.

I did the normal 1.5 hour "zazenkai" this Saturday, not realizing this Saturday was the 4 hour zazenkai, as I am not at this point following along with the live stream or recording. I will have to do the four hour schedule some time in the next three weeks. There will be plenty of good opportunities for it as this time of transition is full of emotional hooks and distractions.

I've all but abandoned mindful eating and any other practices besides zazen and right speech. I want to come back to these, and maintain my full commitment.